Okay guys, time to get honest here. I was about thiiiiiis close to giving this up all together. My first couple of days standing up in front of the class didn't go so well, and worse yet, I shifted into panic overdrive. I was having severe stage fright, which is kind of strange given I used to act and sing in front of people all the time, but I think having all eyes on you and not being sure how the students will react or who's going to test you, plus being responsible for discipline was waaaay too much pressure for me.
Luckily my friends and family pushed me back in the right direction to see that my expectations were a little too high. Although the experience of conducting parts of the lessons on my own the first few days may have been necessary, I also think I was asked to jump in the deep end before I knew how to swim yet. So, my new strategy includes getting to know the students on a more individual basis first (walking around, monitoring, praise, giving help). Then my CT and I will move to teaching lessons as a team, kind of like ping-ponging back and forth so that the students need to pay attention to both of us. After that, we will start doing a lesson where she does 90%, I do 10%, and work our way up until I have 100%.
I also have to work on a persona for when I'm teaching. I really can't be Rebecca up there or I'll feel like finding a nice hole to crawl into. I have to be Srta. Kaylor, who wants these kids to learn but ain't messing around.
So, I don't really know that I want to be a teacher after this, but I'm going to get through and give it my all while I'm here.
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